大笑静心

本帖最后由 woaiosho 于 2010-1-31 05:35 编辑
- t( i8 `5 K# j5 N8 a5 ^8 qOsho,奥修,静心,爱的艺术,Meditation
, T6 |3 d0 v" J. u' UOsho,奥修,静心,爱的艺术,Meditation这不是什么静心方法,但也可以是个静心方法。
8 g; C: |5 a1 z2 `2 h. v* lOsho,奥修,静心,爱的艺术,Meditation看奥修的书时,发现了不少很棒的笑话,贴出来和大家分享。Osho,奥修,静心,爱的艺术,Meditation6 b, e, F$ w* c1 y0 Q
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有些可能是英文的,英文好的帮忙翻译一下。

Three Polacks, Madia, are standing outside a brothel discussing what prices they are willing to pay for the services inside. They decide that one of them should go inside first while the other two wait outside.Osho,奥修,静心,爱的艺术,Meditation3 n0 ~/ O5 t5 s7 o6 M; V

( e5 O6 E  V0 ~奥修(OSHO)中文社区(Meditation,Love)Half an hour later, the one who went inside comes out with a gleaming smile across his face.奥修(OSHO)中文社区(Meditation,Love)( c1 @  c  v1 O) F' W' X
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"What happened? What was it like?" his friends ask.
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9 J6 |" b8 `  oaoxiu.com"Well, I paid five zlotys, went into a room and this tall sexy woman was waiting for me. She took my clothes off, put two pineapple rings over my prick and proceeded to slowly eat them off. It was great!"aoxiu.com: C( Y* m4 {" f5 Y) [8 f/ V

( B" t" y# a. i& uThe second Polack, pleased with his friend's report, goes inside. An hour later he comes out, a big Cheshire cat grin on his face.# d' C5 c) b) N  \
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"What happened?" asked the other two.Osho,奥修,静心,爱的艺术,Meditation. s5 X) z% V& ^& B' \# r

; j; v* z. P0 {3 n( J"Well I paid ten zlotys, and it was the same as our first friend. But this time she put four pineapple rings over my cock and ate them off very very slowly." The third Polack, by this time very horny, rushes in to the brothel and comes out fifteen minutes later with a long, sad face.
1 L; o+ }1 W" v- F1 B# B! sOsho
& s" v3 f0 O( B* m, x4 P8 Q! {$ m. yOsho,奥修,静心,爱的艺术,Meditation"Well," ask his friends, "what's wrong? What happened?"Osho,奥修,静心,爱的艺术,Meditation& h$ M* `# J' t  {

0 K0 C3 t1 r, S" pOsho,奥修,静心,爱的艺术,Meditation"Well, begins the sad Polack, "it started off great. I paid twenty zlotys and she put six rings of pineapple over my cock, plus a big scoop of whipped cream."Osho,奥修,静心,爱的艺术,Meditation4 k! \4 I; x# }" E. [2 Y

4 c) e7 v/ @. h# L3 s7 tOsho"Wow!" the friends exclaim.9 \$ d1 y4 S' f) t9 i" ]# L

. v0 }. u, c% Y8 u3 T2 r7 |* i1 oaoxiu.com"That's not all," continues the third, "a handful of crushed nuts, a sugar wafer, hot
, {* k7 p1 p+ C9 J, z+ V4 l$ m+ r6 |aoxiu.comchocolate sauce, and topped off with a beautiful red cherry."
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"That sounds great," one of the others said. "What could possibly make you so sad then?"
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+ \$ Y1 M$ S1 @奥修(OSHO)中文社区(Meditation,Love)"Well, it looked so fucking good, I ate it myself!"aoxiu.com6 j8 ^% L: f5 J
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From Chapter 4 - Transcendence brings buddhahood/ W8 I; u2 v0 c' K% x! U( W& x& ^
Osho - The Goose is Out

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St Peter challenged the Archangel Gabriel to a game of golf. St. Peter's first drive resulted in a hole-in-one. Gabriel's first drive produced the same result The same thing happened at the next shot.
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St. Peter looked at Gabriel thoughtfully and then said, "What do you say we cut out the miracles and play some golf?"
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! }2 {6 P2 g) [" E# h9 J# c+ yOsho,奥修,静心,爱的艺术,MeditationFrom Chapter 5 - Perfectly imperfectaoxiu.com# b# P& l8 S1 x# z
Osho - The Goose is Out

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A Zen Master was dying... and I have a deep love for the Zen approach for the simple reason that they also rejoice in ordinariness. That's the beauty of Zen: no religion has been able to rise to such heights of ordinariness.
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: d4 D/ j& {# O* C奥修(OSHO)中文社区(Meditation,Love)The Master was very old, nearabout eighty. He gathered his disciples and said, "Now this is my last day. I don't think I will be able to see the sunset, and the sun is setting on the horizon. I have called you all to suggest some new way to die."Osho0 i/ v- U, d/ [& K7 T( O

, d* }9 p2 B2 E4 n& TThey were a little puzzled. They said, "What do you mean by 'new way'?"
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He said, "People have died in bed, people have died in the bathroom, people have died this way and that. All those things have been done before, and I always like to do things in a new way, in my own way. Can you suggest something? Have you ever heard of somebody dying in a standing posture?"
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There was silence. One man said, "Yes, I have heard about a Zen Master who died
3 w4 ?2 @, y4 M7 i# Z) _Osho,奥修,静心,爱的艺术,Meditationstanding."奥修(OSHO)中文社区(Meditation,Love)' z; {$ A  [) s3 o1 Z/ z
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He said, "Then that is dropped! Have you heard of anybody dying standing upside-down, on his head, doing a SIRSHASAN, a headstand?"Osho+ |) \& k3 S7 x

. B( t) v% @2 G) i2 z* N奥修(OSHO)中文社区(Meditation,Love)Everybody said, "We have not heard of such a thing, we have not even imagined such a thing, that anybody would die standing on his head!") [0 W+ b( h& O- Z

1 Y" W9 c% q8 y* j- r& G6 Caoxiu.comSo he said, "That will do!" The old man stood on his head, and it is said that there were all the visible signs that he was dead. But there was a difficulty; the difficulty was that the Zen disciples were in a very puzzling situation: what to do with this old man now? They had never heard of any ritual for somebody dying standing on his head. What had to be done? They knew perfectly well what had to be done when somebody died in bed, but what to do with this man? And he was standing there dead on his head!Osho,奥修,静心,爱的艺术,Meditation0 b" ^: z5 y, Y! {; I, n
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Somebody suggested: "We should run... His old sister lives just close by; she is a nun. She may be able to do something or suggest something. And she is even crazier than this old man!"
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6 a5 p6 M1 I% q0 [* Raoxiu.comSo they ran. The sister came and shouted at her brother and said, "Look, your whole life you have been a trouble! At least die peacefully, don't make much fuss about it! And why are you driving these poor disciples crazy? Get up and lie down on the bed!"
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' g# i) b6 R4 v6 ]4 PThe old man laughed, got up and lay down on the bed, and he said, "Who has brought this crazy sister of mine here? She won't even let me die in an improper way!"
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$ H, }' n1 p! J- ]0 B" _5 JOsho,奥修,静心,爱的艺术,MeditationBut he said, "Okay, you be happy. This is your last desire, and I have never followed any advice of yours. At least this much I can do before I depart."Osho,奥修,静心,爱的艺术,Meditation! N  ~- e- ~" \" _5 C" G- G% O/ c

& K6 J/ k( Y* X5 Haoxiu.comBut the woman did not stay there to see him depart. She said, "You just lie down there. I am going. And die on the bed in a proper way. No more trouble."
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And she left, and the old man died in the bed in a proper way.
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0 Z3 B& G- e5 s# }! k奥修(OSHO)中文社区(Meditation,Love)From Chapter 5 - Perfectly imperfect
9 `$ G5 q8 b9 j奥修(OSHO)中文社区(Meditation,Love)Osho - The Goose is Out

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